Political Correctness ( or PC) is the communal tyranny that erupted in the 1980s. It was a spontaneous declaration that particular ideas, expressions and behaviour, which were then legal, should be forbidden by law and people who transgressed should be punished. It started with a few voices, but grew in popularity until it became an unwritten and written law within the community with those who were publicly declared as being not politically correct becoming the object of persecution by the mob, if not prosecution by the state.

While we are succesfully eliminating the Pledge of Allegiance in our schools, we should take this opportunity to reform all aspects of our American schools.

Let's begin in the cafeteria. It is so unfair that the Jewish children who follow the Kosher rules cannot partake of such foods as cheeseburgers and sausage pizza. Let's eliminate them. In fact, let's eliminate all meats, eggs and milk products out of respect for the vegetarians. Children with gluten intolerances and food allergies would be restricted from certain foods, as well; so let's just eliminate all cafeteria foods. Well, it's just not fair that some children could have better lunches from home than others; so let's eliminate the lunch period altogether. After all, inequality is inequality. Music definitely must go, as it is unfair to the hearing impaired. Books are out of the question. Blind children can only read Braille, and some children have physical disabilities that would prevent them from using their fingers to read the Braille. Besides, books are made from trees. If we used computers, there might be a stir over which company's products were chosen.

Of course, all sports programs should be discontinued as well. Competiton is devastating to a child's self-esteem. We cannot agree on what truly transpired in the past, so let's just cut out history. Social studies are too controversial. Art? Not a good idea for the color blind. Math is too difficult for dyslexics.

We could have science if we could do it without textbooks, pencils (trees), paper, pens (made from plastic, a petroleum biproduct; we must protect the environment from that exploitation) or speaking. I guess the children could all gather for a long nap time, but what about the bed wetters and children with sleep disorders? What's left? Recess?

Aesthetically challenged - Ugly.

Aquatically challenged - Drowning.

Artificial Stimulation - Flirting.

Biologically challenged - Dead.

Blubber lovers - Whaler.

Bovine control officers - Dallas Cowboys.

Breasted Human - Babe.

Caucasian Culturally-Disadvantaged - White trash.

Certified astrological consultant - Crackpot.

Certified crystal therapist - Crackpot.

Certified past-life regression hypnotist - Crackpot.

Chemically challenged - Drug Addict.

Chemically inconvenienced - Stoned or Drunk.

Chronologically Gifted - Old.

Client of the correctional system - Prisoner.

Cosmetically Different - Ugly.

Co-dependent - Finger-pointer.

Constructivist feminist psychotherapy - Psychobabble.

Cosmetic Saturation - Wears too much makeup.

Creatively re-dyed - Stained.

Customer Assistant - Cashier / Checkout worker.

Cyclically challenged - Having PMS

Differently brained - Stupid.

Differently Hirsute - Bald.

Differently organized - Messy.

Domestic engineer - Housewife.

Economically marginalized - Poor.

Emotionally Different - Crazy.

Energy-efficient - Off.

Environmentally correct human - Dead.

Equal opportunity employee - Bisexual hooker.

Erectionally challenged - Impotent.

Ethnically homogenous area - Ghetto.

Facially challenged - Ugly.

Factually unencumbered - Ignorant.

Fecally plenary - Full of crap.

Female gender biased - Prefers women who shave their legs.

Flight attendant - Stewardess.

Follicley independent - Bald.

Fragrance Abuse - Wears too much perfume.

Genetically discriminating - Racist.

Geological correction - Earthquake.

Gerontologically advanced - Old.

Government employee - Stupid.

Gravitationally challenged - Fat

Gravity Resistant - Has breast implants.

Heterosexually Celibate - Frigid.

Horizontally Accessible - Easy.

Horizontally Challenged - Fat.

In orderly transition between career changes - Unemployed.

In recovery - Drunk/junkie

Intellectually impaired - Stupid

Intimately aware of her best qualities - Conceited.

law enforcement officer - Policeman.

Living impaired - Dead.

Maintenance hole - Man-hole.

Male gender biased - Prefers men who shave their chests.

Mechanically challenged - Broken down automobile.

Melanin-impoverished - White.

Metabolically underachieving - Gaining Weight.

Metabolically challenged - Dead.

Microslothically challenged - Windows user.

Monetarily challenged - Poor.

Morally challenged - Criminal.

Morally Different - Evil.

Morally handicapped - Someone who has no other reason to park in a handicapped zone.

Morally Impaired - Slut.

Motivationally dispossessed - Lazy.

Musical Apparatus Specialist - Roadie.

Musically delayed - Tone deaf.

Nasally disadvantaged - really BIG nose.

Nasally gifted - Runny nose.

Nasally gifted - Large nose.

Nitpicklike - Humor challenged.

Non-discretionary fragrance - Body Odour.

Non-inhibited Sexual Companion - Kinky.

Non-Traditional Shopper - Shoplifter.

One who is PC - Target practice.

Ontologically challenged - Fictional or mythological.

Osmotically challenged - Thirsty.

Outdoor urban dwellers - Homeless.

Parking enforcement adjudicator - Meter maid.

Pectorally Superior - Big Breasts.

People of height - Too tall.

People's Art - Graffiti.

Person of region - Redneck.

Person of substance - Fat.

Persons living with entropy - Dead.

Persons of large stature - NY Giants.

Petroleum transfer technician - Gas station attendant.

Photonically non-receptive - Blind.

Previously Enjoyed Companion - Whore.

Racially challenged - Butt-white American.

Residentially flexible - Homeless.

Rhythmically challenged - White boy.

Romantically challenged - Single.

Rustically inclined - Redneck.

Sanitation engineer - Garbage man.

Selectively perceptive - Insane.

Sex care provider - Prostitute.

Sexually-extroverted - Slut.

Sexually-focused - Horny.

Sexually-focused chronologically-gifted individual - Dirty old man.

Sobriety-deprived - Drunk.

Socially challenged - Geek or nerd.

Socially separated - Convict.

Spatially perplexed - Drunk.

Stolen non-human animal fibres - Wool.

Stolen non-human animal sweetener - Honey.

Street activity index - Crime rate.

Street Harassment - Watching a girl walk by.

Structurally challenged - Broken.

Suffering from a sex addiction (female) - Slut.

Suffering from a sex addiction (male) - Stud.

Target equity group - Vocal minority.

Temporary Blood Displacement - Erection.

Terminally Attractive - Killer body.

The absolute root of all evil known in the multidimensional infinity of reality - White male.

Thermally Inaccessible - Frigid.

Uniquely Co-ordinated - Clumsy.

Uniquely fortuned individual on an alternative career path - Loser.

Unpaid Sex Worker - Your girlfriend.

Vehicle Appearance Specialist - Someone who washes cars.

Vertically Challenged - Small.

Verbal Repetition - Nagging.

Verbally challenged - Mute, dumb.

Visually challenged - Blind.

Wardrobe Impaired - Half Naked.

Youth group - Gang.